Experimenting... again.

Lately I've been trying to find an antidepressant, since the depression returned in late summer. Worsening in early fall.

This hasn't proved successful.

Over the past week, since I didn't make it to my doctor's office yet -- I'd had dizzy spells, that seemed a really bad time to be driving -- I tried Vraylar again.

=-=

Yes, by myself. Just like when I stop any of the meds that suck, or make me worse, or ruin my sleep, I stop them myself. Since I react FAST to subclinical doses, this means I'm not waiting days [or weeks] for the doctor to decide. Atypical, but so it goes, and I've been living with my own body and reactions for decades -- they haven't. 

My recent doctors act like if they treat me like I don't have atypical reactions, then I'll respond normally. Not logical, and frankly the opposite of helpful! 

Since these drug reactions stay in my system for far longer than most people [i.e., six months in 2017] it's another reason I don't wait. I cannot. When meds don't work, I'm the one who needs to make that call.

I suspect the doctors I've been seeing hate that. Certainly a few argue with me about reactions I've had, as if denying them means they didn't happen. Man, when I've had hot flashes waking me up multiple times all night, wrecking my sleep -- I was there. 

Don't disparage my experiences! It lacks class. 

The worse thing is that I wasn't basing my experiences on one or two drugs. I was up to ten (10!) just by December 2016. 

=-=

In 2017 I was on Vraylar for a total of three days. Vraylar honestly seems to think I should be manic. Straight up.

Back then, we thought it was a layering problem, that the other drug made me hypomanic, and then Vraylar ramped things up. Nope, nope -- Vraylar is just that bad for me.


This past week, I took it for SEVEN DAYS and yeah, exact same thing happened. All the same effects. Clearly I ought to have stopped at day six. Instead of taking one yesterday.

Against that, I have a confirmation that Vraylar reliably affects me, just as it did the first time, and doesn't care about anything else going on.

Since October 2017, I've taken Risperdal, Nortripyline, Viibryd, and now Vraylar. [Pretty sure I'm missing a fifth drug on that list, dammit.] That's way too many. And they probably are layering effects on me. -.- Since that's what these drugs tend to do, stick around.

I suppose it's a plus too to discover that even though the others don't dent the depression, Vraylar did. So to to speak.


Yeah... you can tell I'm upset, eh? =sigh= I'm so tired of this.

Maybe, just maybe, I can get the doctor to try me on something in the same class as Risperdal, or maybe Nortripyline. I'm sick of them giving me new experimental drugs that go haywire.

Or I can try hanging on til late March, when I get to see a new doctor. One who I hope will actually listen to me.