Going to the vet: June.

[ Written 9-June-22 ]

My SO is out of town; therefore I am currently Little Guy's main caretaker. 

I'm so used to him going and checking on LG that I keep forgetting, except that I do remember he'd need his boxes cleaned.  And my roomie has helped too -- apparently I strained my leg Tuesday morning. After twinges, my leg freaked out last night. So she kindly checked his box last night for me. 

LG has been very good, and barely hissed much at all. Heck, the last few times he did hiss were muted. Pretty much stating to us: "I am registering my dislike, but not horribly put out." 

2021, in part.

 I may run late, but I do plan to do an overview on 2021.  

For a brief recap of the past six months, I finally had knee surgery for my right knee, which had two tears in the meniscus. I'm just over two months out from that, and although walking is far, far better now -- stairs, not so much.  

Doing stairs is weirdly random too; I've managed to go into the basement a few times, but other days, my knee[s] will freak out.  Definitely will need to see physical therapists for that next month.

New allergic reactions...

Last Friday I found a long red blotch on my left wrist. It seemed a bit rawer by evening, but didn't hurt, and reminded me of a scrape. On Saturday, it looked more like bug bites. Applied Benadryl cream...

That didn't appear to help much.

Not bug bites. Hives. Swapped today's chiro appointment -- which I needed, I had a really bad muscle spasm on Saturday, dammit -- for allergist instead.

Cogan's and my health.

Was noodling around, found out today that Cogan's syndrome -- my corneal dystrophy -- also affects hearing.  That's likely why I've had hearing loss since '90.  Cogan's is a rare autoimmune disorder; bet you that the ENTs I saw never thought of it. 

I didn't know that diagnosis before I saw either of 'em -- one in 2014, one last year. 

The bad news is that the hearing loss is not fixable.  I'm in the unlucky 15% who has both ocular and hearing troubles.

Apparently I wanted a full suite of problems when I chose genetically, eh? :p 

Sneaky muscle spasm. -_-

I am so tired. Makes sense, I had a major system shock. Muscle spasms are awful.

Apparently this was a slow spasm, so I didn't figure it out until the nausea hit. A really slow one. I hate those. They're all bad, but some spasms are worse'n others.


This morning putting on a hair tie hurt, and that didn't clue me either. Just thought I'd a really bad headache. I was also really congested, which I put down to not sleeping so well.

A couple weeks ago, I popped part of my left knee somehow. Hyperextended maybe? Last night, I'd had to put a lot of Tiger Balm (the arthritis version) on my knee to sleep. Once that wore off, I knew I'd be restless if I stayed asleep.

Apparently I did stay asleep overnight...

Adventure kittens!

In recent weeks, Digger has become addicted to eating everyday grass* and to simply going outside. He wears his harness, so he can inspect things, sit on the grass or the patio, and just hang out.  I always pick a handful of grass; that way I can let both kittens enjoy it when he's done perambulating.

Hell, yesterday I dumped a few handfuls of dried grass out.  It was on a towel, and Digger likes snuggling up in that box.  I suspect he likes knowing he can just nibble the grass at any time.  He finds it comforting, having that on his towel.  8)

ER trip 3: More health wth.

I AM FINE. It was not a heart attack as feared!  

ER trip 3 in under five months! since I went in on 29-Sept-2019, the day before my fifty-first birthday [!] and also last month on 5-Jan-2020, both for another health issue* [see bottom of page].

Am out of hospital and back home, so I just have to wait on seeing my GP, who's free next Wednesday.

Pain caused by one of three possibles, per Dr. Hershey: acid reflux, arthritis, or nerve problems. All of which I already have.

Spent nearly 24 hrs in Sparrow Hospital.

=-=

Yesterday I left home in an ambulance circa 1:16pm, going to ER. Sparrow Hospital checked me in come evening for a stress test -- to confirm it was not my heart.

I'd called 9/11 because I thought I was having a heart attack.

Intense pain at edge of rib cage, then in my back, that would NOT STOP. I have a high pain tolerance, but sharp sudden pain can debilitate me as much as anyone.

-_-

Hanging by a thread

-- Ahhh, and Blogger decided to eat the post's title, fun fun! Grrr. --


Most people who are mentally ill aren't in a good way. Not collectively. We treat our mentally ill poorly overall. Closing American mental hospitals was a rotten start to this century.

From NPR's review about The Great Pretender; the review concludes:

' The Great Pretender is an essential book, and a plea for the world to come to terms with the way we're treating some of our most vulnerable people. "We are all hanging on by a very thin thread," she writes, "and some of us won't survive our fall." '

She's right. :(

In 1992, I was in one of the last mental institutions that got closed: Clinton Valley Center in Pontiac, Michigan.

October-2: kitten update.

Queen Misty and Digger/Pocito are just rocketing around the house lately. Let alone yesterday, when I looked up to roomie saying: "The kittens, they're both outside." Just like that moment in Jurassic Park when they find the raptors are inside the room with them -- that's how I'm sure Jack and Sweetpea felt!

Amazingly, we got 'em back into the house. Pocito seemed a little shell-shocked by the yard; Queenie acted like it was no big deal. As she stalked Jack. Who looked appalled, frankly.


Annnnnnnnnnnd the kittens climbed the blinds on this night.

Her Majesty was the primary perp, and I got her off the blinds. She was upset, not just to have her fun wrecked, but that I was clearly Not Happy.

::  But the cords, such temptations, such a grand toy!  The texture of the blinds! ::

No matter that I've put the frickin' cords behind the blinds, they can be SEEN, and lusted after, if one is a kitten. =rolls eyes=

Kittens today.

Cheetah is still very snuffly, and sleeps more than his sister, likely due to his awful sinus infection. :/

He likes to cuddle up with people, and/or onto a Soft Place to sleep. To his great delight, I have set up plush throws for him to sleep on the LR couch and the basement futon.

Random autumn update--

Normally I post in Septembers past about rate changes. Sometimes I mention other things, like milestones.

But you know what? I began copyediting in 2007. I may post later about milestones, and I may just talk about cons [like CVG or Dublin Worldcon] or my cats, or something else. I don't know yet.

Weirdness medical: o_o

~~ Weirdness medical: the details ~~

A few mornings ago [Thursday?] I had odd numbness. I get the usual stuff everyone does -- feels like you slept on your arm. Normally it's my right hand, sometimes left also or instead.

Numb fingers have been waking me up nearly every day for weeks now. Sometimes it happens in the middle of the night, a change from the hot flashes*. :/

But the odd kind was the normal "gone numb" feeling first... which then went to another LEVEL of numbness. I don't know how to explain it better than "It felt bubbly" -- just like carbonation!! -- which is frickin' surreal.


~~ Weirdness medical: the backstory ~~

At the law firm where I worked in 1989, I reached too far for a file and got a pinched nerve in my neck. Right side.

I had physical therapy back in '89. [Hated the ectoplasm, loved the massage, mmmm.] Nothing more troubled me til late 2003. But that's another blog post.

The second car accident in 2015 put me into a double regimen: MAT / muscle activation therapy combined with chiro. Weekly. The one was out of pocket and therefore reimbursed [such fun that was!] while chiro was covered under health insurance.

In '16, the specialist said I might have fibromyalgia... but not TO ME.  Oh no, heaven forfend! =eye rolls= He put it into his written report.

Sure, it was for my auto insurance -- who wanted to stop paying on my claim for weekly sessions. But was there some reason that doctor could not say, "And hey, you might want to ask your own doctor to look into this?"

What if I was the kind of person who didn't read the documents later on?????

Jack's new vet adventure.

Jack's terrible awful no-good morning last Friday* went like this:

Sweetpea stayed inside all night. Didn't stir til nearly 8am, when I rose. Swapped her for one unsuspecting Jack.

Jack was fine, friendly and affectionate, happy to chow down. Third time this week he's just sat down by door and purred. He clearly hasn't been sleeping well.

Heck, Sweetpea decided to stay inside and sleep all morning! She hasn't done that in a while. So maybe he felt the same -- not feeling well, wanting not to be disturbed -- but hasn't wanted to waste the Great Outside, the playground, what if it rains again, can't miss out--

O Jack, you are still a kitten and will be for nearly another year. :D

Cat update -- or, Sweetpea's day RUINED forever.

I let in both cats -- as Sweetie hadn't come in earlier, and this was about to be Jack's third breakfast -- and prepared. They were eating, and I'd spooked Sweetpea by bringing "kitten crunchies" aka the kitten food they both like as snackage.

( Lately I've been adding "crunchies" to their first breakfast as a greeting, to rejoice that they made it to their First Meal, and Sweetpea especially considers this a new and excellent greeting/habit.

( It began about a week ago, so it's a habit for life now. :p )

MORE hypo-medical stupid...!

Briefly, if possible, but perhaps that's unhelpful... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've been arguing for some time that my doctors should listen to me on meds*. When it comes to mania and near mania and hypomania and near hypomania -- they don't. In recent years, I've gotten wayyyy too close to all four of those latter stages. Multiple times.

Now, I am starting to enter menopause. That could be the other problem.

Thing is, I just don't know. 

This year, I began having really erratic menses, like nothing I'd have before, and/or normal menses mixed in with crazy throwbacks... as in, blood levels from over a decade ago, or even my first decade of periods!

=-=

Experimenting... again.

Lately I've been trying to find an antidepressant, since the depression returned in late summer. Worsening in early fall.

This hasn't proved successful.

Over the past week, since I didn't make it to my doctor's office yet -- I'd had dizzy spells, that seemed a really bad time to be driving -- I tried Vraylar again.

=-=

Yes, by myself. Just like when I stop any of the meds that suck, or make me worse, or ruin my sleep, I stop them myself. Since I react FAST to subclinical doses, this means I'm not waiting days [or weeks] for the doctor to decide. Atypical, but so it goes, and I've been living with my own body and reactions for decades -- they haven't. 

My recent doctors act like if they treat me like I don't have atypical reactions, then I'll respond normally. Not logical, and frankly the opposite of helpful! 

Since these drug reactions stay in my system for far longer than most people [i.e., six months in 2017] it's another reason I don't wait. I cannot. When meds don't work, I'm the one who needs to make that call.

I suspect the doctors I've been seeing hate that. Certainly a few argue with me about reactions I've had, as if denying them means they didn't happen. Man, when I've had hot flashes waking me up multiple times all night, wrecking my sleep -- I was there. 

Don't disparage my experiences! It lacks class. 

The worse thing is that I wasn't basing my experiences on one or two drugs. I was up to ten (10!) just by December 2016. 

=-=

Poor Smoky...

Today Gatito's going to the nearby vet. Please send good thoughts his way!

We're hoping this is easily fixed.  My poor baby, it looked like he'd slept on the kitchen floor mat a time, and then couldn't get to his litter box, from the amount of goo there.

I feel bad. He'd had loose stools Saturday, and they got worse after the weekend. Problem is, I had a sleep study Sunday night, and that made me mostly useless yesterday; Monday I ended up achy and having all digits freaking out, along with my hip, not quite mini spasms -- yay! -- but not too hot either.


Yestereve he began dripping dung a little. :/

We let Gatito roam free all night, instead of putting him into "his" bathroom. His poor bottom was very sore, and I didn't have the heart to lock him up, not when his butt was clearly hurting him.

He didn't wake us. Odds are Smoky mostly slept. He was on our bed for a while, but found that it's harder to hang out -- or sleep -- when the bed's crowded.

I really hope the nice vet will make him better. I went by Google reviews, so I also hope that the folks gushing about this vet are not leading us astray. Plus side, instead of poking in Yellow Pages, reviews exist.

Again, your good thoughts and prayers are very welcome; thank you!

=hugs=

Yes... "You will make it through."

A dear friend just shared this image with a great list about self-care.

It is a portable wisdom, something to help you when your brain and/or body is fighting you. Trust me, I know how that is. It happens to me (bipolar) and it's tiresome at best, horrible to you at worst.

I thought this was a good time to keep a copy of the list handy. Because we'll be off to Convergence, and this is the time many of us get sick. Not just con crud, but meeting family and friends at everything from weddings and open houses to picnics, cookouts, theme parks, you name it.

So... PLEASE take care of yourself. Please.

Medical stupid. -_-

[ Written 10-May-17 ]

I'd been wondering about the adverse effects of the second drug my doctor "layered" onto me, as a friend wisely put it.

I'm still having those effects. They appear to cycle.

MANIA may cycle. If a drug is somehow cycling in you, that's perfectly horrible. It shouldn't do that.

I took frickin' Risperdal  Vraylar for three [3!] days. I stopped it myself. Same as the previous drug the doctor tried on me; after barely two weeks on RisperdalVraylar, I realized I was seriously hypomanic.

I stopped taking that and told him why.

[ Edited Feb. 2018: Apparently I mix up these two, maybe because I took two drugs too close together!]

Lists and surviving ADHD...

Instead of blogging about the cats [alas!] or other things, like copyediting or rants... today I'm doing an informational blog post. This is for my reference as well as anyone else, of course. 8)

It's also so I can close more tabs. :b