Where I'll be, aside from here.

*** UPDATE at end of this post. *** 

So since today the "Chief Twit" has decided that other social networks don't get "free" [wtf!!!] adverts in His Site... 

Hanging by a thread

-- Ahhh, and Blogger decided to eat the post's title, fun fun! Grrr. --


Most people who are mentally ill aren't in a good way. Not collectively. We treat our mentally ill poorly overall. Closing American mental hospitals was a rotten start to this century.

From NPR's review about The Great Pretender; the review concludes:

' The Great Pretender is an essential book, and a plea for the world to come to terms with the way we're treating some of our most vulnerable people. "We are all hanging on by a very thin thread," she writes, "and some of us won't survive our fall." '

She's right. :(

In 1992, I was in one of the last mental institutions that got closed: Clinton Valley Center in Pontiac, Michigan.

Weirdness medical: o_o

~~ Weirdness medical: the details ~~

A few mornings ago [Thursday?] I had odd numbness. I get the usual stuff everyone does -- feels like you slept on your arm. Normally it's my right hand, sometimes left also or instead.

Numb fingers have been waking me up nearly every day for weeks now. Sometimes it happens in the middle of the night, a change from the hot flashes*. :/

But the odd kind was the normal "gone numb" feeling first... which then went to another LEVEL of numbness. I don't know how to explain it better than "It felt bubbly" -- just like carbonation!! -- which is frickin' surreal.


~~ Weirdness medical: the backstory ~~

At the law firm where I worked in 1989, I reached too far for a file and got a pinched nerve in my neck. Right side.

I had physical therapy back in '89. [Hated the ectoplasm, loved the massage, mmmm.] Nothing more troubled me til late 2003. But that's another blog post.

The second car accident in 2015 put me into a double regimen: MAT / muscle activation therapy combined with chiro. Weekly. The one was out of pocket and therefore reimbursed [such fun that was!] while chiro was covered under health insurance.

In '16, the specialist said I might have fibromyalgia... but not TO ME.  Oh no, heaven forfend! =eye rolls= He put it into his written report.

Sure, it was for my auto insurance -- who wanted to stop paying on my claim for weekly sessions. But was there some reason that doctor could not say, "And hey, you might want to ask your own doctor to look into this?"

What if I was the kind of person who didn't read the documents later on?????

Cat: Jekyll and Hyde.

Yesterday [?] I introduced Smoky to the fish toy. At first he wasn't too sure about this odd thing. What was it? Why was it on a string?

The fish seemed like a toy, but it resisted. Smokepuff could smell that Mommy had gnawed on it, and his aunt Vee too. Hmm!

Then Sweetpea played with the toy right there: Mommy liked it, oh, it must be fun then. 8) He was enthralled.

Smoky played like any cat does with a pole toy, and he clearly enjoyed himself.

2000-05 income: temping.

Back then, I temped constantly.  I enjoyed being able to leave a place I didn't like, or that had a rotten work environment... or was boring.

Most jobs never took me long to master.

(Unlike the coupon-book publisher I worked for in 2003.  That job, ahhh, that was nice and meaty, and took me weeks to learn what was what.  Involved filing, much proofreading, plus using both PCs and Macs.  Lovely workplace...)

In just 2000 I had 15-odd assignments.  I was really proud of that.  I remember people who were horrified by this, and I could not understand why.

C'mon, having companies who clamored for me to return, that's pretty neat!

Car roll call: mine.

My cars...

• 1980-something Mustang 2 yrs.  (I remember it was supposed to be one thing, 1980-whatever, but it was something weird.  Somehow 1981/1983??)  I had my T-top Mustang 1987-1989.  Give or take a month.

• 1989 Geo Metro, bought new:  just over 9 years.  (How I loved that Geo!)  Traded in 'Stang for Geo.  Needed a car that didn't have multiple oil leaks.

• 2000 Chevrolet S-10, leased new in 2000:  2 yrs 9 mo.

• 2003 Toyota Echo, leased new in 2003:  2 yrs 4 mo.  Toyota paid off my truck lease, quite happily -- but required a deposit, which I had not needed in 2000 with Chevy.

• 1998 Toyota Corolla, used:  10 mo.  As of last September.  Formerly my mother's beloved car...  Slain by a deer this past June.

Weather/life update.

What an exciting winter travail it's been so far, and that's not even counting last month!

Michigan hit a record for January snowfall:  over 31.5 inches as of yesterday.  Our normal snowfall?  Oh, a mere 12+ inches.

The fear is that we'll break the winter cold record too.  Right now we're in the top five coldest January records, matching the year 1875.

Today and 1999.

Today is the fortieth anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.  Happy anniversary to abortion rights!


Back in late 1998, I thought I'd gotten pregnant.  The doctor's office blew me off and gave me an appointment in 1999.

I was pregnant.  The Pill had failed.

When you're on psychotropic medications, like I am, that mutates the fetus.  Carrying to term is not recommended.  That's why a woman who is mentally ill needs to choose between her own health or the baby's; should she become manic, or depressive, she can't take meds or it will endanger the baby.

I'm bipolar.  Without my meds, I become depressive first, and then manic.  Not only is that not good for me, it's bad for a child.  Imagine a baby crying -- needing food or a diaper change.  Then imagine if the mother is unable to function.

I can well imagine that.  I've been manic several times, and depressive a lot more.


In 1999, the hospital sent me for a second-trimester abortion at a clinic.  The next month, the hospital gave me a tubal ligation... which I'd sought in September 1998, but my doctor refused; my being practical didn't suit him.

In most states right now, I couldn't have that abortion.  What sort of child would result?

I'd like all the conservatives to think about that.

They love babies in the womb, but once a child is born, then they're done.

Quickly... the next 12 days.

Am going to Worldcon 2012 / Chicon 7 a week hence.  Expect disruption in service.  ;d

Might get another post in before then, might not.  


Internet access still missing from my own desktop PC.  Something broke its connexion.  Possibly the Trojan that this machine [not mine] discovered today.  Still unknown.  :c

Will attempt to Tweet during Amtrak 30-Aug and possibly 3-Sept during my travel to and from Chicon 7.  Tweets will also be irregular, as I did NOT get a phone with 'Net service deliberately, but have another device for those.  :D

Texts welcome during con.  Got unlimited texting.  :)

TTYL!

Readercon and sexual predators and life.

There's been a lot said lately about Readercon 2012, the bad stuff that happened there with sexual predators, and the InterWeb has kept the discussion going.

Particularly as the entire Readercon board quit.

Some important things to help you understand that situation, and any similar predator incidents:

Gaslighting -- thanks to ashbet! 

About truth -- thanks to fallconsmate!


Why it's important to cut that creeper guy from your social group.


When you want to help someone get out of an abusive situation. 

I managed to escape a BF who chose to stalk me online.  He thought that since I was isolated and without income that I could not leave.  He was wrong.  If I'd needed to hitchhike, I would have, but I didn't. 

I had friends who offered to help me leave, so I packed my things and left.  I did end up getting wooed to "try again" but after some time I realized he didn't want me, he wanted a doll that looked like me and that did what he wanted. 

If he'd given me the six months I said I wanted to settle my affairs, maybe we could have worked things out; but he didn't.  He wanted control too badly.  Instead, six months after I initially left, I moved back to Michigan. 


If you haven't read The Gift of Fear, you should.  Be aware that if you have been harassed or raped or stalked, that the book will give you both hope and stress from your memories. 

If you just want to understand how NOT to hurt others, it's worth it for that alone.  But to anyone who has been hurt, chased, raped, preyed on, stalked, in any flavor of those assorted torments -- and no, I am not joking -- this read will be worth it. 

Zero tolerance should be ZERO.

Readerconfail is what people are calling it.  I wonder why??


Genevieve Valentine on the verdict. Her friend's report from 2008.  Ekaterina Sedia's thoughts. 


Note that I tagged this under "rape" because sexual predation includes rape, just as sexual harassment is included in sexual predation.  I've had experiences along the whole damned spectrum -- which I'm stating as a fact.

It is not because I wanted any of them. 

This makes me wonder about Readercon.  I've been harassed at local cons.  I wouldn't know as many people if I needed help -- not people I know well, that is, who've known me for years.  So... they're still on my cons I'd like to attend.  But this has raised reservations.  :(

ETA 3.05pm:  Genevieve's other post about this matter.  [Update 18-Feb-2017: CRAP.  She doesn't have that account anymore, so that great post is gone.]

Seriously, for any guy who may think he is "just apologizing" or "she made me do this" or ANY of that unacceptable crapola -- read that post.  If someone's ever done this to you, read it.   If you wonder what we're talking about, read it.  If someone's said to you, "This guy..." then definitely read that post.  It is about boundaries and smashing them and tolerating rapists, predators, and all their ilk.

And as The Gift of Fear would rightly point out, those are indicators.

ETA 31-July-12 12.36am:  Ann Leckie, bless her, also brought up some other important things, like the problem with people who say "Oh no! You will outlaw flirting!" when that is not what this is about.  Do read her post.

Thanks to Aliette de Bodard, who posted this on Twitter.

Michigan and GOPFail

I didn't read this in the news. It's something I know.

The State of Michigan decided a bit ago to use an online system instead of paper notices about things like food stamps and low-income medical benefits.

Okay. Because employing postal workers is that liberal thing, something about JOBS, and who needs that?

That way someone's benefits could be quietly cut. No muss, no fuss, just one day the dollar amount changes to zero.

Those people might be working multiple jobs, not have computers, not be able to get online -- maybe no car, disabled, or simply unable to get to their local libraries. Which are also having to cut hours.

Again, that job thing. They aren't job creators, those people have no impact on the economy; more of that tired old spin. The pretense that their kids shouldn't be fed; they had to be born, and once that happened, all bets were off.


I know it's extremely dystopian to think that the people who aren't worrying about jobs now want the "not like us" people to die off.

Like liberals are something you can outlive. Like people who are in unions don't matter. Like people oughtn't have health care unless they're quite rich. Like infrastructure isn't important.

Because y'know, only those poor people and middle class people use roads. Yeah, AS IF. Food comes on roads and bridges; all goods travel. FedEx ships by road and air, you know. Then the post office delivers to everyone that FedEx doesn't. Funny about that.


As if society, our shared community, does not matter.

This... this is bull.

You don't have to agree with who I vote for. That's not what's important. But I'm angry. I'm angry for people I've met and those I know, people who needed that money. What if my great-uncle needed food stamps?? He doesn't have a computer and he's past ninety. What about the people I know who've suffered bankruptcy for medical bills? Foreclosed because they lost jobs...

The list goes on and on.

This is a shared construct, society. It's how we humans survived so many things.

Food doesn't teleport to you. Water doesn't get to your house by magic. You do not live without a huge interconnected network of people, goods, services, infrastructure. People made your car, the bus, that truck your food comes on.


I love reading about dystopias. I hate living in them. I'm living in one now. Our world keeps getting closer to madness every fool day. Who put these people in charge?? I swear that it's like the Arab spring taught many politicos nothing.

Is that the world they want? Revolution? Or do they really think that people will roll over? Did they not notice the Occupy movement?

I don't recommend us reliving the French Revolution on a worldwide basis either.


And I wept a bit last night when I saw how my legislature treated two female Michigan lawmakers. I am deeply ashamed. I know the Michigan Republicans have been on this insane anti-democracy kick. But--! This is not the world I signed up for.

This is wrong. This skewed world needs to be fixed, changed, corrected, made better. Let's do it: Time to change things for the better.

Because I want the kids I know to be proud of us and to be glad for their world -- our world. Not ashamed. None of us should have to suffer this madness; and since I've been mad, I have some cause to say that.

A few links of fun and fandom &c.

I popped onto LinkedIn and found this fascinating link: Amazon's markup of digital delivery to indie authors is ~129,000%

Holy--!

The Clarion Write-a-Thon began. You can join, or pledge [or both!]; my friend Daniel J. Hogan is taking part.

A great post from Mary Robinette Kowal about traveling with Scalzi [and his travel karma].

Did you ever read the Evil Overlord plot generator? No? Someone decided to see what the costs were for being an unbeatable Evil Overlord...


The very nice Saladin Ahmed, a Michigan author/editor I met at Penguicon, has requested aid -- and 24 hours later, gotten it! See Pulp Pastiche and a Plea for Patrons.

Erika Holt writes The Deep End: My Plunge Into the SFF Community over at Inkpunks. :)


The "lesser known editing marks" image, courtesy of the very fine Jeff Faria.

John Carter was like an audio book

John Carter was like an audio book, too long.

Too many characters. Took too long to get to the story. It should've been a miniseries, and if they'd contained themselves -- meaning, if they'd compressed things better -- and not gone for the Huge Panoramas everywhere, that would have been better.

The graphics were nifty, though. :) I have a feeling that if you watched it with the sound off, that might help.

Also, I can appreciate fans making stories; that's how we got Sherlock and Peter Jackson's LOTR cycle. The problem is when the movie makers go overboard because of enthusiasm. So much stuff not to leave out, you can just feel them cry... no, no, you must leave things out.

That's what makes the others good. Knowing what to leave out as well as what to put in.


Tharks!

I loved the Tharks. Except they were too skinny, so half the time I was thinking "Anorexic Tharks!" and the rest I was being all delighted at them. Whoever did the Tharks is full of win, and I salute you most happily.

My favorite part was the arena. :) But overall it dragged. I kept pausing it to see just how long I'd been watching, which is never a good sign.

Dad watched the beginning with me, and we discussed [and he critiqued] how long it was taking them to get to the story. He complained -- rightly, I thought -- about the actor cast as John Carter. They really needed someone built like the young Schwarzenegger. Every time the camera came back to Carter, I got a bit more twitchy. :/

I did like how Deja Thoris wasn't all wimpy. I don't remember what she was like, but that was a pleasant difference. The different frame story had its moments, particularly the end, but... sigh.

I read the John Carter books in my teens. They were just like Tarzan in many ways, unsurprisingly. That's not a complaint, it's just an observation. They went in two-book cycles.

So I kept saying, "Why aren't they getting to the cave?" and similar comments. Now I understand why some fans watching Spiderman got upset about the webshooters Peter made. They didn't upset me, but the gizmo instead of John Carter's teleporting, arghhh!!

I could see how they'd been seduced by movies past: Dune, Flash Gordon, the original Star Wars trio, Tron.

So, yeah. See the arena scene, that's really good. The dog, I want a Martian dog a bit, he was great. :) I know he was a plot point, but a very skillfully used one.

Not streamlined.

Wow... Google's mad dash to make everything "more streamlined" seems to be  a rush towards ugly.  I'm not sure what made them think that cold starkness was streamlined.

Depressing, though.  I had other things I was thinking about -- but having Blogger change along with Gmail [what an unsurprise!] is exceedingly depressing.

It does make me see why folks get into Wordpress.  Maybe they can make the interface less repellent.  I don't know.

Warped, no foolin'.

Today it took me about 4 tries to open a Word file successfully. That is becoming standard with this file. It is very tiresome. I don't know if Classic Menu doesn't work well with docx files, or what. That's my guess, but... I don't think so. I think it's something peculiar about this file. :/

But I could swear I had a docx file in February, or maybe January, and this didn't happen then.


I wish this were a joke -- lots of good ones today. Alas, this... isn't. I'll snag some of the good jokes I saw off Twitter later. Off to dig back into That File.

The way I know there's a problem with the docx file? Whenever I open it every day, the right margin grows from normal -- quarter of the screen -- to enormous. Every Comment goes off into the far distance, stretching abnormally.

That's the first two or three times I open it. Every time. Without fail.

Doesn't matter what way I open it, either. Going through the file tree, from the Windows button, from the pinned recent files...

You know, it'd be nice to blame this on Cthulhu. I'm just sayin'.


I hope you're having a Happy Facepalm Sunday. :)

Late night update.

Sorry to have vanished. I began some new projects this month; some things didn't happen as expected; and the 'Net has been very peculiar in this area lately.

I thought our ISP and cable were from the same company -- and we've had increasing problems with cable lately -- but I was mistaken.

Fall is coming, to my delight. September is a lovely month. I had meant to update my rates, but I'll work that out next month... just in time for my work anniversary.

Be well.

Headlines?

Source: London Daily Mirror; image from About.com

Remember this headline?

I want to know if somewhere, someone's written something like this:

Are These the 60 Stupidest People in America?

What did they mistake about their job description as part of the United States Congress? About it being a government job, that is. A job that entails governing.

And who elected them? Was it just everyday people, Americans fed up with the way their lives and the recession's been going? Or was it, interesting enough, "health professionals... and oil and gas interests" * by any chance?

My mother suggested otherwise. It got me to thinking...

A Conspiracy of Stupid?

They said it couldn't happen again. Not on American soil. Yet it has. A conspiracy set within the Congress itself -- the strangest ever plot of al-Qaida -- to destroy America. And if they have their way, the economy of the world!

Because everyone knows that Americans will do anything, they're fanatics... and especially their newest politicians.

Where will it end???

* Source, Wikipedia article on the Tea Party Caucus


Yes, I'm upset about the debt ceiling ----. I don't even have a word I can use for it, crisis has been done to death, and nothing suits... not even brouhaha.

Maybe this made you laugh. Maybe not. I'm glad I never wanted to be a journalist, I think I would have been far better with penny dreadfuls. :D


Before I start on about people who can't do math oughtn't hold office, we'll move on. Thursday's been a historic day. I mean, not only in American politics -- today I found out Lawrence O'Donnell wrote episodes of West Wing, including one about the debt ceiling. That is surreal.

=grin= It's easier to think in terms of things that aren't apocalypses, particularly when about to goto bed.

Maybe tomorrow will prove to be the second time the Fourteenth Amendment is invoked.

I miss ELM.

I must be the only person in the universe who does. Or so it feels. :C

Tonight Gmail decided that y'know, panel email clients weren't bad enough. I've been happily avoiding email served up via panel for a long time. Eudora, Outlook, Pegasus, and Thunderbird are all that style. Gmail implements some of their worst features in a new way.

So now Gmail compresses the screen when you move down the email-list or open emails -- even though their top and bottom menu bars are clones, and don't need to BE compressed -- thus shrinking what you can see. How futile is that?

Gmail and Yahoo used to be like ELM -- you had a list of your emails, you selected the message, you read it. Panel readers break up your screen into compartments: the folder menu, the email-list, and the email you're reading.

I absolutely hate the panel format. Without reservation. Whoever invented panel-style email clients ought to be in a special place in hell (and I am not kidding).

The old way -- the list format -- was more like having an uncrumpled page. I can move up and down on that freely. I get the whole piece of paper as my screen when I open my message...

Well, mostly, but Gmail and Yahoo et al have been putting stuff in the sidebars, shrinking the screen where you read your email. Still, it was far better than the alternative:

Using panels is like having a scroll; my viewing options are limited, I have to do a lot of clicking and sliding to get anywhere, and each choice gets me a smaller area. [Gotta pin that thing open, but it keeps slipping!] It doesn't matter if I'm scanning the email-list or trying to read a message, I've gone from a full piece of flat paper to a 3x5 card.

I've used Outlook, and T-Bird, so this isn't guessing; I know what they're like, and I loathe them all.

What possessed Gmail? I don't know. I'd think that a bunch of clever geeks wouldn't do this.

After using Web email since 2000, of course I don't want 300 baud back. But why would I want a scroll flapping closed every time I read email??!!?!? Fighting email to read it -> counterproductive!


SquirrelMail, bless 'em, looks like the only email client who didn't go with panels, so... if I'm still frothing tomorrow, I may have a viable option. Thanks, folks!

I have a theory.

Remember, way back in the day, when you'd get spam -- how you could hit Unsubscribe and it was accepted. Then you weren't bothered anymore. Nowadays you can't, because instead it means "Human at other end" and the sender[s] never stop.

An attitude shift, sure, but it's also something else.

I think skip tracers [collectors] have bought into that new system too. That a human answering means it doesn't matter if it's the human sought, it's human, and that's all that matters. The reason I think so is that my parents have been hassled by collectors for someone else. People who've never lived here; the previous owners of their current phone number.

When did half a loaf start to be more important? It's dehumanizing.

More, it's scary.

This is a little like a fairly chilling part of a Patricia McKillip book that I happen to love. One character tells another that being alive is the only criteria required.

So is it?