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Sunday, August 12, 2012

Readercon and sexual predators and life.

There's been a lot said lately about Readercon 2012, the bad stuff that happened there with sexual predators, and the InterWeb has kept the discussion going.

Particularly as the entire Readercon board quit.

Some important things to help you understand that situation, and any similar predator incidents:

Gaslighting -- thanks to ashbet! 

About truth -- thanks to fallconsmate!

Why it's important to cut that creeper guy from your social group.

When you want to help someone get out of an abusive situation

I managed to escape a BF who chose to stalk me online.  He thought that since I was isolated and without income that I could not leave.  He was wrong.  If I'd needed to hitchhike, I would have, but I didn't. 

I had friends who offered to help me leave, so I packed my things and left.  I did end up getting wooed to "try again" but after some time I realized he didn't want me, he wanted a doll that looked like me and that did what he wanted. 

If he'd given me the six months I said I wanted to settle my affairs, maybe we could have worked things out; but he didn't.  He wanted control too badly.  Instead, six months after I initially left, I moved back to Michigan. 

If you haven't read The Gift of Fear, you should.  Be aware that if you have been harassed or raped or stalked, that the book will give you both hope and stress from your memories. 

If you just want to understand how NOT to hurt others, it's worth it for that alone.  But to anyone who has been hurt, chased, raped, preyed on, stalked, in any flavor of those assorted torments -- and no, I am not joking -- this read will be worth it. 

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