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Wednesday, July 17, 2019

MORE hypo-medical stupid...!

Briefly, if possible, but perhaps that's unhelpful... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've been arguing for some time that my doctors should listen to me on meds*. When it comes to mania and near mania and hypomania and near hypomania -- they don't. In recent years, I've gotten wayyyy too close to all four of those latter stages. Multiple times.

Now, I am starting to enter menopause. That could be the other problem.

Thing is, I just don't know

This year, I began having really erratic menses, like nothing I'd have before, and/or normal menses mixed in with crazy throwbacks... as in, blood levels from over a decade ago, or even my first decade of periods!


Thursday, July 11, 2019

July 2018 to now.

It's been nearly a year since I posted last. With four posts last year, and this the first posted in 2019--

The short version of the past year is this: Tiny Cat chose to live inside with us; six months later, he vanished; his family nearly all vanished; I've been struggling with depression for many months...

I did get a new shrink. So that worked out. :) Except for the other problem, which is that I appear to be speeding BACK into effin' hypomania. Again. Not my current doctor's fault, he is very good at working with me, unlike the previous few doctors.

More on my health later...

Looking back, I posted about the cats and our cat colony, so I'm glad I documented it at least. :/ Having one beloved cat disappear, and then not just one more cat, but four more--! It takes a toll on you.

Gatito was just a couple days away from his first birthday, dammit!

I tried not to get close to his cousins -- Shadow had her second litter two years after her first -- but I failed.

I loved Cali, little scamp that she was.  She somehow projected an aura of "small human girl in a pinafore" as she rocketed around.  You could feel her determination as she did whatever she wanted, all the time, and focused intensely on those things. Beautiful little bratling, Cali was. Dammit...

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

From kittens to kitten.

FYI: Like Tiny Cat, these are feral kittens.

Last week Nixie went missing, on 25-July-18. After breakfast. This seems to be the time the kittens vanish, sometime after the kibble comes back out.

Can't leave the kibble out overnight, since local coons -- anywhere from 3-7 a night! -- come by, along with a couple skunks, and maybe a possum.

Nix is a dilute calico male. A timid cat. He and Jack had just started purring together at us...

Then Sunday (29-July) Cali went missing. She's a female calico. After I fed her and her brother Jack breakfast.

Monday, July 2, 2018

Status of kittens: variable.

Shadow brought back the kittens after that first road trip.
 [ETA: Nearly that entire link is about Smoky's loss, beware! :( "Smoky's grandmother brought us new feral kittens the following week, 18-April. They're gone now -- probably she decided to abandon them/lead them off to new territory."] 
Mother and kittens went away 2-4 more times since then for the day... then returned.

Twice this week they've all gone missing. Granted, it's idiot season -- where half the neighborhood blows up firecrackers day and night, a horrible experience for cats and dogs alike. Let alone lawn mowers.

Friday all the kittens came back late. I fed them wet food, knowing they'd be starving and thirsty.

Last night we got Nixie, hoarsely mewing, and Jack, at 11pm -- same time as Friday. But not their sister Cali.

Sunday I'd seen Nix at 9am, who then fled, but not his sibs. Back towards the far corner of yard. Shadow must've taught her feral kittens to climb fences... or to try to. Whenever the kittens vanish, I tell Shadow "bring back the kittens" and she realized that means I'll feed them wet food when they're home.

Last night, oddly, Shadow didn't want any wet food. The boys and her adult daughter Vee happily ate it.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Spring update...

Tiny Cat went missing 13-April-18. Three days before his birthday.

I have a couple blog posts started about Gatito, our Smoky, who was almost a year old.  Short version, we're positive he was rescued by someone who figured he was a cute polite young cat, and that's why there's been no sign of him. He'd always come home before. * 

I hope that person has other cats for him to play with, and takes good care of my baby. I miss him terribly -- we all do.

A horrible and vicious tomcat had been attacking Smoky, and Vee, and pretty much every cat here who wasn't Shadow. The only cat who the Orange Monster could mate with; I call him that rather than constantly cuss, okay?

Monday, February 19, 2018

Experimenting... again.

Lately I've been trying to find an antidepressant, since the depression returned in late summer. Worsening in early fall.

This hasn't proved successful.

Over the past week, since I didn't make it to my doctor's office yet -- I'd had dizzy spells, that seemed a really bad time to be driving -- I tried Vraylar again.


Yes, by myself. Just like when I stop any of the meds that suck, or make me worse, or ruin my sleep, I stop them myself. Since I react FAST to subclinical doses, this means I'm not waiting days [or weeks] for the doctor to decide. Atypical, but so it goes, and I've been living with my own body and reactions for decades -- they haven't. 

My recent doctors act like if they treat me like I don't have atypical reactions, then I'll respond normally. Not logical, and frankly the opposite of helpful! 

Since these drug reactions stay in my system for far longer than most people [i.e., six months in 2017] it's another reason I don't wait. I cannot. When meds don't work, I'm the one who needs to make that call.

I suspect the doctors I've been seeing hate that. Certainly a few argue with me about reactions I've had, as if denying them means they didn't happen. Man, when I've had hot flashes waking me up multiple times all night, wrecking my sleep -- I was there

Don't disparage my experiences! It lacks class. 

The worse thing is that I wasn't basing my experiences on one or two drugs. I was up to ten (10!) just by December 2016. 


Sunday, December 31, 2017

Smoky update: pica.

Months ago, in late October, we took Smoky to the vet. Twice. The first visit went well.

After the second visit, I wasn't happy with that vet, for she insisted he was "eating something from outside" and that Gatito be kept indoors.

What she didn't make clear is that "you can mix in his old food when he's better" was not really what she meant. Um, be clear. I'm not a vet, if you tell me it's okay, and then it's not--! Because on his second visit, the vet was upset that I'd fed him his old kibble.

Just like she said. So her premise was that I'd messed up his stomach bacteria. Even though she couldn't figure out what was giving him loose stools.